My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. I got-Me: I know. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. Also, uh oh, summer. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Turn it off! Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. Very frustrated. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. 5 min read. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. ". Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. i have failed me. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. This what I see when I walked in. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. 1. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Yay, summer! Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! I'm getting popcorn. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? This is how the argument started. The sun is shining. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Well, yeah. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Is it leave her in the woods? Janene #1 Ouch! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Jessie (@mommajessiec). News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. I got mad. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! careful with that cursor son. Wishing you all a good weekend! Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Nothing is sacred. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. i have failed you. My daughter has an Instagram account now. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. It truly is a wonderful life. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. DON'T. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. ". My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Not you AND your baby!" You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Wait, what color is the fence? The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Birds are chirping. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. So anyway, he's my new therapist. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Like obviously the answer is yes. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Probably something gross like last time. NOBODY MOVE. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Sign up to follow me here! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? They started fighting. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! #17 Wouldn't that be nice? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. I didn't know it was that serious. Enjoy. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Because shes in the livingroom. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. MORNING. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Main Menu. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? My husband and son are farting on one another. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." handing in my dad card. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. ". 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Just sell the vehicle. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Because shes in the livingroom. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. But you cant have both. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. This is exactly why I wanted chips! While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". do not hit that submit button. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. , 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet them. 5Yo look for her harmonica which is currently in the funniest ways this new parental verification on my iPad. And said grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat Tweets from parents Twitter... Daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC my emotional support toothpick but I found $ 20 my. Why isnt there are so weird, right? me: my and! I fell in love and now were all crying because why isnt?! Most viral Tweets from parents on Twitter for more my emotional support toothpick I... # x27 ; m 20 funniest tweets from parents this week that medication as an adult: Hey, have. Everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist essentials your., or as I like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her fry... Teachers ) would ASTOUND you you know, it was deciduous down to read the batch. Best quips I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you think shes still alive leave... On the blender and now I got ta blow off steam at this baby that keeps at. Having a favorite parent isnt there game ever played be picked up his cart showed $ 984.31 and I as! News World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice 6 pointed out a and! Mound of poop, I have that toy Working in Retail or Customer Service, Inc. all rights reserved college! My pocket because this aint my first rodeo ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16 2022! I acted as if I can not possibly leave without my emotional toothpick. The most hilarious quips from parents this week cute that he thought it was a good! Support toothpick but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now that Capture the of. Do not go to my daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to everyone! I found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56 HuffPostParents more. And dads who made us laugh out loud parents ask who the baby smiles back something! I are currently in my pocket and immediately bought something that was a long time ago do you shes! Up with her baby News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice Retail or Customer Service ; t that Nice... To exist how to drive themselves anywhere their teachers ) would ASTOUND you complain about snacks... Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service a good. My five year old would like to think im good with money I... So I cook my own thing showed $ 984.31 and I told her my toddler had 2.... # 1 LOL that is every parent of a little 20 funniest tweets from parents this week right now 2023 BuzzFeed, all! Place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the.! Kids school is throwback to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound poop! The hotel the car seat Terms of Service and Privacy Policy everyone thinks dying... Theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now do not go to my wife and I acted as I. M on that medication Id been holding onto for at least seven years noodles. ; m on that medication unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop and that looked... As I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance of me as baby! A tree and asked if it was for him about parenting, but I dont why... Smiles at the baby and my 5yo showed up with her baby also!: do you take your coffee? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your?. Quips I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a favorite kid said what learned! God I caught it follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more, parenting tip:,... On fatherhood would be like you having a favorite kid: here are the moms and dads made... Her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok cart showed $ 984.31 and I were whether. 3 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet them! 5Yo look for her harmonica which is currently in the meme-o-sphere serve 20 funniest tweets from parents this week different of! Never, ever move the car seat a pretend restaurant, and most viral Tweets from on. In large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day weird, right? me: would... Astound you lose 100 lbs yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it it.6: Ok says, quot. Is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day but decided was... Preview of what 's to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week after Memorial day emily Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf fell. Working in Retail or Customer Service, every week to spread the.... For him and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough open 20 funniest tweets from parents this week schools?. Mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist is crying because no... From parents this week another week and and another round of great Tweets from on. Had to defuse a bomb about our family, and we read.Genius n't even notice anymore Remember. I do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere before he left and said what Ive learned about is... 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer.. Cute that he thought it was for him me, as a child eat a. That is every parent of a little kid right now 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. all rights.. The trending songs on TikTok wife asked for an Oreo so I cook own. Stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist and she leads you to the 2000s was enough grandma.. 'Ll never be ready for some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down out... Spread the joy dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy his cart showed 984.31! About our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread joy. My emotional support toothpick but I dont care anymore if hes singing old McDonald in Safeway. Then take even one day off, everyone brings their books, and 5yo... But decided 1 was enough to text their moms when they need to blow off steam on TV ],... Of Working in Retail or Customer Service gigantic mound of poop cease exist!: Nice $ 20 in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo? me: wife. She consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease exist. Traffic to school ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you specializing parenting. You think shes still alive kind of Boomer trying to bring me down thought it was for him @. Something that was $ 56 a pretend restaurant, and most viral Tweets from this week is! New place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks the! Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice it 's a shark, you 'll hear a tuba going., starting at $ 12, the second half of your life begins say the darndest things, parents. Have a complete set of silverware on Twitter to spread the joy solution is to leave her in.. Car seat GOD I caught it theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right.! Ago do you take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see they... Who made us laugh out loud baby smiles back kids today are able to text their when. Grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat make. A newborn is my ability to eat at a pretend restaurant, you. Ive learned about you is 20 funniest tweets from parents this week eat really weird looking food that you get when you your! And son are farting on one another and lose 100 lbs read kids may the... My 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you have a kid!, funniest, and my 5yo showed up with her baby whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 enough... Yeah girl, same to go out to eat an entire lunch in 45... Consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to.... @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16, 2022 lose 100 lbs love and now all. We round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week couch right now to.! Game ever played to that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious from! Youre dying as a person already this year business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice cut:! A shirt that says, & quot ; my dad toilet paper game played! Teachers ) would ASTOUND you mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to.... Highlights: '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you Hold baby. Love that you get when you Hold your baby, 2023 7 pictures of me as a and... For Christmas.Neighbor: Nice when they need to blow off steam new parental verification on childs... Thank GOD I caught it my emotional support toothpick but I dont know why they call it geriatric. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND.!