a tone (style of writing) that is oddly tinny or lighthearted or thin He is above and smarter than everyone. Her sickness is ALL HER. Not reliable. Ultimately, he divorced me saying that he could not be with anyone who saw him as his abuser. I am going through a divorce right now because my husband met another girl at his job. he tried to seperate me and my daughter . Allow me to break it down for you: []. Hope that helps. Only 6 weeks after his move, then only responded by text for 4 months, never spoke to me about breaking up, then posted a pic of him and new GF on FB and never texted or spoke to me again. These types dont settle on happiness (they are never happy in the true sense of the word), its all about what their partners offer in the form of convenience. I dont even know if you desire to changebut I brought it up because often when people are in emotional turmoil, thats what drives them to try to make these kinds of major changes in their lives about how they are interacting with the world. The statement suggests, that the person was switching back and force from idealise and devalue. Relationships with narcissists have a cycle to them that plays out again and again. She doesnt seems as excited as she was a few months ago, says its alot so soon. Anonymous, I think Kim is right. I meant no disrespect in my comments above, and I do apologize that it was taken that way. So when I saw his truck pull into my driveway, I came out my house while on my phone and slowly strolled down the ramp (I have a handicapped ramp) and went to my car to get a paper that I needed to get as he pulled up. I still had no reply or e-mail from him though. Even though, I dont have time right now to go through RodMans comment, here are my thoughts. They lasted 5 months and yes, she ended it, smart girl!!! *************************************************************************************************************. After I need help connecting my head to my heart. He forgot about the online accounts and when he called a month ago, I let him know I knew where his new address was. Once I started reading about it I was in shock. Its very weird. I would not be friends with him the first year after the break up even though he begged. Hes totally using her for her fame because shes good at what he wants to be good at. I hope you are doing well and one day I can truly go no contact. He seemed to need to be perceived as perfect in my eyes. He couldnt deny the behaviors and traits fit. I lived for this sparesome moments to see in his soul. wonderful post. I bet lots of other women on this site would say the same thing to you. Its only for a few months, a few, LONG months of sheer hell! Perhaps we were the ones to try to end it and attempted to explain why. They just dont get it. When he comes back and the dream is still ist completly dead.. Every time he comes back he says how sorry he is, how awful and miserable his life is without me, how he has no direction and no reason to live. Hugs. I have no photos of her in the house, I dont think of her, Im clearing out things she gave me, etc. It was not until she started to pull away from me significantly that I began to lose control over my emotions and my manhood in general. He told her he is waiting for The only reason why they would want their ex back is that they know theyre an easy source of supply. This would make it easier for you to move on. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. 4. For ex, I mentioned above, that NPD and Psycos dont go back to idealisation after the devaluing, but they may switch back to good behaviour, from time to time, if they still need the pray (because not all is sucked out of the person yet). There is one thing that is different with a narcissist. I never said ALL of them.. What I said was they OFTEN are. It is deep in the night. Im sorry, and I do hope you forgive me for the abrupt end and all pain that you have experienced as a result of my actions. This statement shows the true colors of a narcnot whether or not they are guilty of what you accuse them of as they will never have a real discussion about thatbut now they are the victims of you unfairly saying they are abusive and tarnishing their fake reputation. He did some terrible things to me but I have a big heart and I also realize that he is sick, so I forgave him. I will definitely visit him now. Imagine never being able to escape because of the consequences youd face, and even when you seek help, youre told by the church that you are at fault for you husbands behavior, you arent being a good wife and doing your duties :/ This guy is my soulmate and will forever be, but if I was to have the smallest chat via email or over the phone, the pain starts again. But Im just taking it one day at a time, but you are right I will survive I do know that. But then at some moments it comes back and i miss him. Helpt me with the car etc.. I got extremely frustrated with his ambiguous, incoherent behavior, his cavalier attitude and thought he was acting in a cowardly manner and told him so. Im still on the roller coaster of emotion but at least i know the ride has to end eventually. He knows i should drifting on pink clouds when he contacts me. Anyways reading other peoples stories makes me feel better and cope with things better. If you listen cafefully to what they say to you, they are actually telling you what they are and or what they are doing to you. I told him I would see him only if he would open up to me and be his true self. He started distancing himself from me and going out late with friends, mostly girls.He withheld sex fro me often, to the point that we would have sex once every other month or 2 at most. Hi omg the narc i saw for an unbelieval year and a half was insane to think i didnt see it..but in my bordem and insecurity and to be honest my insanity also i put up with him..all he had going for him was his looks..but im in a weird way im happy i went through it..i learned alot..about what one is and about myself..hes turning 59 this year..its going to suck dying alone . Also, while he was here, I told him I couldnt find the remote to my livingroom tv; I wasnt sure I packed it up in his stuff when he left that night but I told him if he happened to come across it, fine. They usually do, whether sooner or later. So, the narcissist will think things like, Finley truly worshipped me like the angelic being that I am, Charlies got some work to do. Then theyll start calling and texting you, trying to gain access to some of that good supply once more. Often, in the process of self-discovery, we learn enough about ourselves to stop attracting and/or desiring people who are black holes. Lose the Loser! She does not even know me. So, when the cops called they said unfortunately they couldnt charge him because he now is alleging I theeatened too. He let me pet his dog, small talk like nothing (what he did to me) ever happened. Mind u I was not shy to express my erratic side in therapy so we can be given the help we needed while being our selves and not some fake person who will gain nothing from therapy. It happens slowly, over timeso that when the relationship comes to an end the victim doesnt know who they are anymore. I do miss the good times which were few but not the bad ones. He also seemed to get off on the attention he would receive on FB from him almost all female friends list. Please understand how much I wish that I could process this whole situation in a far clearer way than I have. A retired state trooper who is really sweet. Will she change her mind and get in touch with me? Let me tell you and anyone reading this: youre not alone. Jamie, if I were in your shoes, I would file a restraining order, citing the information you shared here. Why are you waiting for him to return? If I feel like answering I do. In hindsight there were so many odd things about his behavior and how he described his life (practically no interest in anything about my real life), but I also like eccentric, shy people and a bit of a dark side. Theyll start being overly nice by buying you gifts, and taking you out. I forget everything. I love this app especially since any number on your blocked list wont go to voicemail. n.b. That hit home! It hurt me so bad through out his torture i ws suicidle depressed . He was cool and calm and thought he was in control until I declined his offer with certainty. Weve both defriended him on all our social networks. Try to research on thisNPD is included in BPD, if its a Psychopathic BPD. A wife was left feeling 'angry and confused' after her husband asked if he can have an affair with another woman. . Once that mask falls, you can't pick it back up. I do have him blocked. He has asked me repeatedly to call him but I have not because I have worked hard to get to a place where the pain is manageable and I know that I come first. So transparent. Bruce, quite an interesting story. Almost three weeks still not heard from him. He admits now to drinking an being drunk every night and that he is part of 30+ porn pages on fb. I need to find some time and write down all the good things I got from her and all the bad things and compare and always look at itthat would be on my agenda. Most friends dont understand that i came back over and over again. Others who actually saw things go down actually stepped up to say what happened. It worked! They might say something like, I hated the way my ex dressed, they never made an effort for me. Very skilled at the manipulation. His sense of entitlement is scary. No threats though. I was so depressed. (Her favourite flower a Narcissus/Daffodil). Having an ex unblock you can do a real number on your psyche; you tend to overthink, question their motives, feelings towards you, and most importantly, your feelings towards your ex. Thank you for your kind comment. I am in the very beginning stages of leaving my narcissistic Abuser. Since we only had a few weekends together, I never got to see her really bad side, and outside of cutting me out of her life and lying, she was a peach to talk to. It was all about her. I just wanted to explain the reasons for my blank blog- I will get there but the most important thing is, i am on my way I hope many more will be as lucky to find let me reach in their darkest hour just as i was, the path won,t seem so desert -less <3. Anon Frenchie, many times when one grows up with an emotionally abusive parent, we re-create those patterns with romantic partners later in life. I just sort of got used to listening to how wonderful she was, how everybody loved her, how all men wanted her. They had bled their partner dry of all the narcissistic supply they had and left when they had nothing left to give. To do this, a Non must reach the absolute edge of sanity; the point where its either you or them where you turn away, or fall off the cliff. . Narcissists never stop hungering for power, control, and self-gratification. Hi lisa. I left my ex in March because the fights kept escalating and he was becoming increasingly disrespectful. At that point, thats the one thing the narcissist can never take from you againno matter what he or she decides to do after that. If he can still affect you, if he knows you are monitoring his actions, feeling bad or upset that he has not contacted you, he will use this period to manipulate you. He has to live with this 24/7 negativity in his life. I try only now to be patient to feel my way and not react to this sense of emptiness fill it with other things and in a way hope that in time that the feelings will return but that is only for the experience of flying we are not alone in this world we do not do things only for the thing itself but that experience is surrounded by other people and its those people who are largely the same all of whom stood back and let me be abused. lol, In response to dating other women of this type, I have dated women like this before but only a couple. The torment they endure from narcassism couples with the strength of a very patriarchal religion, you have no idea! Will my narcissist hoover? My narc came back after almost 2 years. Start standing up for your personal space and comfort. I love not being that tree falling in the forest. Suing her for $43,000. He was trying to destroy me, and I fought back. So much of what you write about has happened to me and makes me feel that you are writing my story. Did the narcissist ever tell you about exes in their past that they wanted nothing to do with? Hi CJ, he sounds like a Narc I dated a few years ago. Ok nw i feel miserable and have to take myself up. He even listened to me rant and gave me advice when I was trying to decide what to do. Its really hard for a guy like me to talk about issues like this. I installed Mr. I am trying to encourage a relationship between him and kids. But, I took him back, through out our relationship he seemed so desperate for female attention, massive amounts of porn, talking about sex with girls, behind my back, secrets and lies that are now coming to shine. Im so scared for her! you will go on for a far greater than you can ever imagine LOVE yet to be. WOW Your story was almost identical to mine except I was going through divorce when that demon Narc targeted me. Keep in mind that this woman more or less pushed herself into my life after I initially reached out to her. And maybe more so as they might be subjected to childhood trauma for being devalued as effeminate, and because men can more eerily reflect back the narcs ultimate self-love they are seeking (as the love letter above captures well). when the narcissist stops contacting you. And they can because we let them. Just to be able to do that after being treated so badly by them, shows us just how special we really are. He was verbally abusive during big fights, which happened rarely, and increased towards the end. He is a high functioning alcoholic as well and takes prescription Adderall and Cymbalta. Only now accepting that I was one of them too. I then had to endure the next 2 months. He has been blocked on fb, my home phone, my cell phone and messenger. Anonymous, hes not into anyone but himself. In many cases, they are even harder to get over. I pray you have found a Christian counselor who can help you to truly forgive all those you need to forgive and to receive the necessary healing to move forward, however God may lead you. I stricktly wrote him never never to contact me again. and they know exactly what they are doing they know right from wrong, good from bad Its also why they appear so happy with the new supply. Hi Jan, thanks for sharing your experience. It hurts and its much easier and feels exteme happy if i should react. Thats because Terri was so controlling, and I knew that when I got home, Id be in some kind of trouble. Or when the narcissist gets in a new relationship, as a way of controlling their partner, theyll run down a list of all the things they didnt like about their former partner. This is a very ego materislistic sexual man who is willing to lose it all. Things that remind my of him. I layed for houres in my bed thinking what to messages and read about N but he never respond. 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