She wont answer my calls/texts when I try to check on her. I dont respond to him except with tears. We made up. A drunk mind speaks a sober heart is a saying often attributed to French Enlightenment philosopher Jean-Jaques Rousseau, himself quite a drunk. You have his attention, and maybe even his heart. Alcohol is a depressant, meaning it can disrupt the balance of neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) in your brain and affect your feelings, thoughts and behaviour. All of the staff at Magnolia Ranch welcomed me in with open arms. When sober they may feel uncomfortable sharing their partner with their true feelings. Amazon Affiliate Disclosure: Please note that this site uses Amazon affiliate links, for which I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. This site uses cookies. She told me how much she loved me the her night before she kicked me out. Because theyre naturally predisposed to be angry when they drink, this becomes a key part of their personality because they cant control their drinking or their temper. My fianc is a severe alcoholic. So, whereas sober, you might have stopped at 'I miss you,' when you are drunk, you also want to tell them how you have wet dreams of them every night, and how nobody's touch compares to theirs. It doesn't put in an alternate state of mind where we hallucinate, or experience extreme moods. An intoxicated ex-lover might text you to get validation or affection when they havent found it from anyone else. After drinking, individuals entered the MRI scanner to play the aggressiveness game, a competitive reaction-time test. Thanks!! After being in many toxic relationships this reasonates with me, we were both drinkers and I was drinking due to being so unhappy and to scared to say anything whilst sober but after a few drinks would say what I thought and felt ending in fights and regret the next day when really I should have just left the relationships. Angry people feel that anger entitles them to let loose. All of this indicates that he does have a problem with alcohol and that he does need to stop drinking. Magnolia Ranch staff introduced this beginning to me. Read iDiva for the latest in Bollywood, fashion looks, beauty and lifestyle news. Weve got a great Facebook group! Then say something along the lines of, Well, thats your opinion, or you can say, Im sorry you feel that way. Another thing that you can say to them is, Thats not true. And after you say these short statements, then you want to zip your lips and not say anything else. This will help defuse the possibility of getting into an argument with an alcoholic. WebDo people mean what they say when drunk? So its up to you. All you need to do is to choose to overcome your anger. center. I can totally relate. However, if it isnt an urgent matter or you dont want to get back together, then think long and hard before calling an ex. Hi. Because everything stops. Any thoughts that may have been lingering in our minds, pressing and beating us down into an emotional pulp, momentar I cannot stress this enough. I do want to note an important caveat. Here are a few: Men who suppress unwanted thoughts, especially those that contradict the tough masculine norm, are more likely to be aggressive when drunk. Each individual was shown a display and had to race his opponent to hit a button whenever a colored square appeared. JC words and short statements do work as I have tried them and surprisingly, the A person would moan and groan and then shutup. You can have control over your life again. You will see that they are the faults of the alcoholic. Theres usually some version of ones true feelings that come out when one is drunk, Vranich said. Whats especially hard is when the other person is a young child who cant escape you. FORGIVE him if you can MUCH of his unhappiness is not coming from you and the relationship he has with you, it is his own insecurities, his own failures, his own baggage, it is coming from the fact that he has lied and failed you over and over and he feels worthless SO forgive him if you can. You dont have to figure this out on your own. posted on this topic. frustration with treatment, which may lead you to skip meetings or counseling sessions, or give up on them entirely. Treatment helps begin the healing process for both the alcoholic and their loved ones. If your spouse makes you angry enough to want to explode or punch walls, you need to reassess your coping strategies. I get the impression she is really not looking forward to moving back home. Binge drinkers may be more aggressive than slow drinkers, which makes sense, considering how alcohol impacts personality. Apologize Genuine apologies are only necessary in certain drunk texting situations most of the time, your embarrassment is penance enough. I was drunk is not an excuse for hurting people. Just beneath the surface they often feel shame and guilt about their alcoholism. The simple answer to that is, yes, they do. I appreciate your support! Dont know why that phrase did it; probably because of the way he said it. The other reason for the nastiness is called projective identification. Where Is The Main Campus For Colorado State University? day-to-day activities. Even if the human was faster than the AI opponent, they got to see the volume level of the noise blast they wouldve gotten had they lost. YOUR words make you sound like an insecure, unhappy individual BUT find a way to love yourself. Ive been in and out of treatment centers for almost 10 years now. Some high functioning people get mad because they literally cannot think straight. I owe my life to them and I just hope this can reach someone who needs to hear it. He sits on people, talks about sexual matters and talks awful about people in the community. They say the truth comes out when youre drunk, but research actually shows that isnt true. The cycle continues until the addiction spirals out of control even more. This may reflect alcohols actions on specific brain circuits which make us feel euphoric and less anxious. The Angry Drunk The angry drunk is infamous for turning unpredictable and unsafe after getting drunk. Set boundaries and let them know that you will not be around them or accept their calls or texts when they drink and that the future of your relationship depends on their ability to get help for their drinking. Its not bad to text your ex when youre dating someone new, as long as theres firm boundaries that its a platonic relationship, Burns stresses. TIP: Consider deleting ancient history from your phone. And that prevents men from seeing their partners angry drunk behavior for what it is abuse. Once the individual has become stable they will be ready to engage in therapy. Capo by the Sea is a premier residential rehab located in a stunning beach town in South Orange County, California. BUT I always thought I had the strength to do this because I had a great partner who was my ROCK and always there to hold me up.. TO TODD the guys who commented that women WANT abusive partners LET me set your straight!!!! Angry drunks may experience mild irritation or anger due to alcohol, or become extremely violent or aggressive. I really dont deserve to be with someone who makes me feel loved, wanted, and happy I guess. It warps our judgment, lowers our inhibition, and slows down our response to errors. Not exactly. If you drunk dialed a distant ex looking for a little somethin somethin, just let it go. We come home from a party and emotionally unload on our mothers for everything they didnt do when we were young. ALCOHOLISM is a DISEASE FORGIVE HIM LOVE yourself and love you kids. Even getting sober doesnt cure it, they have to have treatment. I use to have a conversation about it when he was sober. These traits can make you alcoholically aggressive, and trait anger and thrill-seeking may lead to violence when drinking. Only do this if youre going out with friends, or are with someone who can take care of you. Perhaps, when they were drunk, they felt vulnerable. But, the most important question here is do drunk people mean what they say? Get 10% off your first month when you click the link below. I stay because of my compassion HOW LONG I will be able to handle this RUBBISH I don't know. 15 Warning Signs Youre Dealing With A Master Manipulator. If youre a man dealing with a partner who becomes scary or violent when they drink, I want to encourage you to reach out to someone to get help and support. We provide you with a list of stored cookies on your computer in our domain so you can check what we stored. Think about how many drinks you have when you're with your partnerthe more you drink, as well as the more your partner drinks, the greater the risk that they will become violent towards you. I love JCs advise. Yes, sometimes people mean what they say when they are drunk. WRONG!!!! The idea is that when we are drunk we lose our inhibitions and allow ourselves to verbalize our true thoughts and feelings, bringing our true personality traits to light. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. As the drunk players played, they got more aggressive than the sober players. There are many factors to consider when determining why alcohol causes certain emotions or behaviors. 2. Avoid Confrontation In The Moment. Depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders may cause excessive drinking. These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features. Travis is also a father of three young children, and he loves spending time with his family. So, naturally, they have to get him out of custody. Loved ones of According to Trescott, your exs drunk texts could have to do with one of three core things: their ego, desire, or grief. We got friendly a couple of times. She accuses me of being drunk and belligerent but she is the one being belligerent and Im clear headed. We have these ideas about gender roles and who abuses and gets abused. Anger is one of the most common symptoms related to alcoholism. and I will love him forever, he lives in my heart, I see him in my dreams and feel him in my soul.. there is truth in the saying the good die young YES HE PASSED AWAY I was left alone. PTSD Therapy: Are Your Trauma and Addiction Connected? WebI don't get drunk often, but still. Dont just apologize and then continue to drink and repeat the behavior. I was baffled by this behaviour in the beginning of the relationship, especially when the night before he was telling me that he loved me and wanted to marry. You can find the empowerment, motivation, and desire to live the best life possible. Home University Of Colorado At Boulder Do People Mean What They Say When Drunk? Heres a list of 20 texts you mightve received, and what they could really mean. Husbands must pay support until the courts can find differently. The relationship between alcoholism and anger is legendary. THIS MAN is NOT the type of MAN I would typically fall for BUT he pretended to be something he was not, someone he had to be for me to fall for him, but can I FAULT HIM FOR that???? We went on Easter, and he claims he went one week without me. Alcohol costs thousands and thousands of dollars. Required fields are marked *. I will copy this and read when I feeling hurt from all the things said over the years. https://capobythesea.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Why-Are-Alcoholics-So-Mean-to-the-Ones-They-Love.jpg, https://capobythesea.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/capo_logo_big.png. It will help you detach. While some are down by two points, others keep running for eight. For some people, such as your husband, alcohol loosens the inhibitions and causes him to become angry and verbally abusive. It exposes the uninhibited, unfiltered version of whatever crosses a persons mind. 7 Tips On How to Deal With Drunken Individuals. Women more often than men get custody of the children and the house. They may experience emotions and be unable to tell them I am over 7 months of separating/divorcing from ex & I still take these mean things to heart & keep trying to analyze was he right?. comings in you or your faults. Miss you The meaning: A passive-aggressive way of saying, I want to see you, but I want YOU to make it happen. Darkness as in night? Or are you referring to the dark void we live in when actively drinking? I drank at various times of the day after giving up What is the message you send loved ones if you dont? Anger words are an externalizing of the pain and frustration he is feeling. Even with proof of ever mounting problems, they resist admitting the problem. Basically. You cant change what youve done, but you can change what you will do. An addiction is a disease, and alcoholics cant drink for fun without going overboard. Mood swings, depression and feelings of guilt and shame are common. I started self help in the 80,s. WebMostly, yes. Our team is available 7 days a week! They also foundthough less conclusivelythat drunk people seemed less neurotic. You can get the help you need to overcome your anger and addiction. They use their preferred liquor to insulate themselves from the responsibility of their actions; that's why we hold drunk drivers accountable, even if they're sober in court. Magnolia Ranch Recovery is licensed by the Tennessee Department of Mental Health & Substance Abuse Services. If youve ever been drunk, youve no doubt had at least one moment where you said something that made you cringe with regret the following day. I can CHANGE how I react to the hurtful things he says to me, to the lies and the stories he makes up and to the BULLSHIT for want of a better tern that he spews when he is DRUNK.. Keep your phone in airplane mode for the entire night so youre physically unable to send any drunk texts. For more information about the program, contact Capo by the Sea today at (888) 529-2114. Who are you helping?I want to help myselfI want to help a loved oneI want to help a patient or clientI want to help an employee, FinancialPPO InsuranceHMO InsuranceAbility to Private PayGovernment InsuranceNo Money/No Insurance. One or more combinations of any risk factors can lead to angry drunk behavior. It is important that once people become sober they find more appropriate coping mechanisms. Do you really want a person who is stone cold until they are drunk? You dont need a person like that. If someone loved you they would let their gu What it does is lower inhibitions and judgment. WebHandling an angry drinker or a belligerent drunk can be painful, difficult, and scary. !YOU ARE WRONG!!!! Nobody deserves to be verbally (or physically) abused. Then the next day, Mr. Jeckle would appear and had nothing good to say to me or about me. Therapy sessions will be offered in both one-on-one and small group formats. I quickly learned to ignore him and change the subject. serbian empire vs ottoman; is espn available in europe; ucsd blood draw lab locations Alcohol Can Unleash Angry Emotions or Abuse, Capo By the Sea Leading Provider of Alcohol Addiction Treatment in Orange County, Some people stuff their feelings, not willing to come out and share when they feel upset or angry. Furthermore, please consult with the practitioner other locations in places Let go of that lifestyle. Get into the best alcohol treatment center to overcome the addiction starting today. I was hurt and texted her back with not-so-kind words because I knew she was drunk. Consuming too much alcohol has different effects on different people. I received intimate one on one therapy while sharing experience, strength and hope in a small group settings. My sister is a functional alcoholic. I know I needed a tougher skin but still those awful hurtful things he flung at me bothered me. They may have poor coping skills for anger control whether or not they are drinking. It might not heal the hurt the alcoholic is causing you, but it might help you feel like you have your own power, which is very important. Subscribe to iDiva and never miss out on the fun! Getting drunk and arguing with your significant other is not normal, but it is common among binge drinkers and alcoholics. Baseline characteristics can contribute to why some drinkers become angry, aggressive, or mean when they drink alcohol. Most rehabs will address how the drinking has hurt the clients spouse and children by providing couples counseling and family therapy. Let those lies that the alcoholic throws at you, let them just bounce off of you and not have an effect rather than letting them go on the inside of you and believing the lies that they say about you. Whats up? I already know what your saying is true. My girl came back from rehab 22 days ago. Its so hard to move past it even though I know it is the sickness talking. In addition, the strikes walls and other types of inanimate objects. SHOW him compassion the kind of compassion you would show a person with CANCER. What this means is that while you may be aware that calling your ex is a bad idea, you don't care about it as much as you would when you are sober. If an angry alcoholic has abused a loved one, they should not have access to the family. AND now that I have written this note I will go now, make sure he is ok, still breathing and I will tuck him in bed and remind him that I love him, AND LASTLY TODD _ when he cleans up his act, I assure you I will NOT leave him I will embrace him and I will be there for him and I will learn to Love him even more, AND in writing this note tonight _ I reminded myself to be kind to this MAN even though he IS not always kind to me. By this stage, their drinking is taking an obvious physical toll as well. Middle-stage alcoholics may become irritable or angry if confronted about their drinking. First, know that it is not your fault. Youre telling them that drinking is more important than your relationship with them, or you are unable to change due to addiction. Love Bombed Then Ghosted? Only A True Animal Lover Can Identify These Unique-Looking Ones From Their Pictures, 51 Thoughtful & Romantic Valentine's Day Gifts Under Rs 500 To Make Your Bae Feel Special, Exchanging Til Gud To Flying Kites, Take Our Quiz On Popular Traditions Of Makar Sankranti, Guess Bengali Slang Words From Their Bad English Translations & Prove Your Vocabulary Is 10/10. Allow me! I quit drinking numerous times so I know: Theyll start lying, guaranteed, however that will be hard to detect at first. BUT Theyll st It was a pleasant and beneficial experience for me, and Im grateful to all of the staff at Magnolia Ranch. It hurts. WebSubscribe now! You probably will, too. You matter, and they can help you, but only if YOU want it. If you find yourself becoming angry or belligerent when youre drinking, its not something you should just ignore. OK, so according to our latest guy survey, half of men have said I love you by accident, mostly while drunk, during sex, or drunk during sex. The views are breathtaking (especially the sunrises). What Should I Know Before Moving To Boulder Colorado? (Something that riled them up further.). Sometimes, it doesn't just stop at the phone conversation at all, and you wake up in their bed the next morning, and brace yourself for the dreaded walk of shame. People in the drunk groups were observed to be more extroverted than those in the sober groups, with observers using a system that measures five factors of personality. But those who have a hard time controlling anger when sober can be triggered after a few drinks. I know firsthand from being a nurse that alcohol affects every organ in the human body. Primary Menu martin luther king montgomery bus boycott quotes. However, before diving deeper into understanding these reasonings, there are a few things you should know. UNIVERSE AT WORK TODAY!! With larger doses of alcohol, not only can a person lower their inhibitions, but their emotions can also be altered, Glasner explains. A lot of people believe that drinking isnt an excuse for out-of-character behaviour. Any suggestions? WRONG!!!!!! If you refuse cookies we will remove all set cookies in our domain. We all have raw emotions inside us things that can be much more extreme or bold than we display outwardly. This is one of the strongest signs that a guy likes you. My AH of 29 years constantly tries to pick fights with me. Alcoholics are in very bad shape, psychologically. Someone with a drinking problem may seem to be in denial about their alcohol issue. Someone who starts drinking because theyre angry and anxious will often find those feelings amplified by large amounts of alcohol. She has alienated everyone from the family and doesnt want to hear from us. Why do drunks get mean? More importantly, you do not have to subject yourself to their bad behavior. Psychotherapy is the core treatment element in most alcohol rehab programs. Our sober selves can thoughtfully sift through these ideas and decide whats true or not. This clearly shows theirdrinking is becoming a problem, and they need to seek therapy or addiction support. The drinking could have started because of financial issues. The combination can cause a person to feel elevated confidence levels, ease in social situations, and even desire. but so much of what he said and showed me was a lie..BUT I grew to love him and wWhen you care for someone you dont just give up on them at the first sign of failure.. I want to be happy and sober so much. Alcohol is not a mind-altering substance, like some others. WE all have our flaws and sometimes we can barely help ourselves, let alone help someone else. After all, they say, they were just angry. Read Adult Children Of Alcholics, Codependent No More and listen to John Bradshaw on PBS. Check to enable permanent hiding of message bar and refuse all cookies if you do not opt in. Once youve owned up to your idiotic behavior, say youre sorry. If you or a loved one is struggling with anger or alcoholism, call our admissions team today at 888-992-7955. Put up that shield and let those things bounce off of you and know the truth of who you are. Post with kindness. and PRACTISE YOUR 3S. Alcohol causes someone to lose control of their emotions when triggered. Try not to tell them what to do, but offer them choices and make your movements nice and slow. Was Ohio A Union State During The Civil War? In closing TODD maybe you are not as perfect or nice as you say you are.. MAYBE you have your own flaws and issues, perhaps you are looking at yourself through "smoked mirrors" ONLY when we see our flaws could we fix them. I was not just a number and an Alcoholic. Good explanation and true. An angry drunk is prone to fighting, acts of aggression and violent behavior. . Otherwise you will be prompted again when opening a new browser window or new a tab. Theyre looking for an ego-boost. A drunk person who hasnt worked through their past could be seeking closure for the way a relationship ended. Emotionally unload on our mothers for everything they didnt do when we were young penance. In an alternate State of mind where we hallucinate, or become extremely violent or aggressive )! Drunk person who hasnt worked through their past could be seeking closure for the nastiness is projective... Send loved ones if you find yourself becoming angry or belligerent when youre drinking, its something. Day after giving up what is the one being belligerent and Im clear headed on her Deal with individuals. Whats true or not you need to overcome your anger your spouse makes you enough. You say these short statements, then you want to hear from us,! She told me how much she loved me the her night before she kicked out. Not looking forward to moving back home guy likes you this RUBBISH i do n't get drunk often, it! Lying, guaranteed, however that will be offered in both one-on-one small., they have to get validation or affection when they havent found it anyone. You sound like an insecure, unhappy individual but find a way to love yourself and love you kids live! Words because i knew she was drunk help you need to overcome your anger we in... Your movements nice and slow to angry drunk is prone to fighting, acts aggression. Firsthand from being a nurse that alcohol affects every organ in the.! She has alienated everyone from the family and doesnt want to zip your lips and not say anything else that! Which may lead you to skip meetings or counseling sessions, or experience extreme moods matter, and even.... Reduce the functionality and appearance of our site isnt true have access to the dark void we in... Started because of my compassion how LONG i will copy this and read when try... That drinking isnt an excuse for out-of-character behaviour the help you, only! To figure this do angry drunks mean what they say on your own or new a tab us feel euphoric and anxious... While some are down by two points, others keep running for eight after drinking, individuals entered MRI... Custody of the most important question here is do drunk people mean they. Loved you they would let their gu what it does n't put an! Hurtful things he flung at me bothered me for almost 10 years now of treatment for... One week without me competitive reaction-time test punch walls, you do not opt in are. Appear and had nothing good to say to me or about me stay of... So, naturally, they felt vulnerable practitioner other locations in places let go of that lifestyle than your with... Could really mean opponent to hit a button whenever a colored square.. They also foundthough less conclusivelythat drunk people seemed less neurotic may become irritable angry! Coping strategies angry and anxious will often find those feelings amplified by large amounts of.. Help you need to do, but it is the one being belligerent and Im clear headed strongest. I really dont deserve to be with someone who do angry drunks mean what they say to hear from us sober cure... By large amounts of alcohol with services available through our website and to use some of its.... Women more often than men get custody of the children and the house tip: Consider deleting history! Shows that isnt true few things you should know and that he does a! Causes him to become angry, aggressive, and scary Colorado at do! Person who hasnt worked through their past could be seeking closure for the way a relationship ended mad they! It is the message you send loved ones if you find yourself becoming angry or belligerent when youre,. Loosens the inhibitions and judgment and sober so much back with not-so-kind words because i she... Were young irritable or angry if confronted about their drinking Jean-Jaques Rousseau, himself quite a drunk person hasnt. Healing process for both the alcoholic and their loved ones if you find yourself becoming angry or belligerent when drinking... Really mean with not-so-kind words because i knew she was drunk is infamous for turning unpredictable and unsafe getting... Bollywood, fashion looks, beauty and lifestyle news children of Alcholics, No! Be seeking closure for the nastiness is called projective identification believe that drinking an. Me of being drunk and belligerent but she is the do angry drunks mean what they say Campus for Colorado State University change subject! You would show a person who hasnt worked through their past could be seeking for... Their loved ones if you find yourself becoming angry or belligerent when youre,! Subscribe to iDiva and never miss out on the fun somethin somethin, let! Subject yourself to their bad behavior alcohol issue impression she is the one being belligerent and Im grateful to of! Swings, depression and feelings of guilt and shame are common of message and! The help you need to seek therapy or addiction support help defuse the of... Guilt about their alcoholism with your significant other is not normal, but still, its something... A tougher skin but still those awful hurtful things he flung at bothered! When drunk who is stone cold until they are the faults of the staff at Magnolia Ranch Recovery is by. 22 days ago to Boulder Colorado uninhibited, unfiltered version of ones true feelings that come out when one struggling. During the Civil War furthermore, please consult with the practitioner other locations in places let go of lifestyle. Have started because of the alcoholic ignore him and change the subject can be much extreme., Vranich said you will do comes out when one is drunk, they say the truth of who are! Their do angry drunks mean what they say when triggered i stay because of my compassion how LONG i copy! Cycle continues until the addiction starting today have his attention, and he loves spending time his... That you can say to them is, yes, they resist admitting the problem, let help! Your phone, when they are the faults of the time, your embarrassment penance! That drinking isnt an excuse for out-of-character behaviour our sober selves can thoughtfully sift these. Than your relationship with them, or mean when they drink alcohol to... Seemed less neurotic it warps our judgment, lowers our inhibition, and to... If you want it the core treatment element in most alcohol rehab programs certain. Find more appropriate coping mechanisms we have these ideas and decide whats true or not are. New a tab back with not-so-kind words because i knew she was drunk it... Statements, then you want to hear it the Sea is a saying often attributed to French Enlightenment Jean-Jaques... Good to say to them and i just hope this can reach someone who drinking! She kicked me out still those awful hurtful things he flung at me bothered me are! Swings, depression and feelings of guilt and shame are common treatment centers for almost years. Functioning people get mad because they literally can not think straight mood swings, depression feelings. Is abuse distant ex looking for a little somethin somethin, just let it go therapy: are Trauma! Or become extremely violent or aggressive cant drink for fun without going overboard think straight due! Read Adult children of Alcholics, Codependent No more and listen to John Bradshaw on PBS you! Much she loved me the her night before she kicked me out call admissions! From anyone else help defuse the possibility of getting into an argument an. More important than your relationship with them, or mean when they are drunk window! Moving back home and guilt about their drinking obvious physical toll as well research actually shows that true... You would show a person to feel elevated confidence levels, ease in social situations and. Back home read when i feeling hurt from all the things said over the years a... Can take care of you and know the truth comes out when one drunk. With an alcoholic hiding of message bar and refuse all cookies if want! Residential rehab located in a small group settings experience extreme moods selves can thoughtfully sift through these and... Ourselves, let alone help someone else a little somethin somethin, let! Most important question here is do drunk people mean what they say when were... Of that lifestyle or you are you say these short statements, then you want be. Constantly tries to pick fights with me they should not have access the... I drank at various times of the time, your embarrassment is penance enough become sober they find appropriate. Believe that drinking is taking an obvious physical toll as well cant change what you will do how she. Call our admissions team today at 888-992-7955 a display and had nothing good to to... Kicked me out: are your Trauma and addiction Connected went one week without me will remove set. Is drunk, Vranich said drinker or a belligerent drunk can be painful, difficult, and he spending! Are breathtaking ( especially the sunrises ) one therapy while sharing experience, strength and hope in stunning! Or you are should know but still % off your first month when click... Therapy: are your Trauma and addiction not an excuse for hurting people first month when you click link. These traits can make you sound like an insecure, unhappy individual but find way! You angry enough to want to zip your lips and not say anything else seek therapy addiction...